#15 Challenge Day

I really have no idea where to begin. I was late (feel awful about that, but i managed to run there as fast as i could). I walk in and I was already, just by walking in the door, out of my comfort zone. Trying to sneak in unnoticed was impossible, I was given a round of applause. Immediately overwhelmed with good spirits and motivation. Games were weird, not my thing. I think that the way they changed the mood was so sneaky and perfect (as you had forewarned). I really did not think that I was going to cry, ya know, I went in there with a good mind set not to let things get to me, but the small groups changed that. Almost everyone had taken a turn speaking, I was last, the guy sitting next to me speaking(we will call him John) just broke my heart. He had been Nick's best friend, and the last thing he said to him before he died was "wow nick, you've become a real asshole, what the f*$k is wrong with you", it was the VERY LAST thing he said to him. It was like it was straight out of a movie. I instantly began to ball my freaking eyes out. I couldn't even imagine, but what stuck me the most was the way I thought of John before this, I thought he was a real ass, but then things came together, and I just got it, I felt it. I told about 1% of my life and past of things i've had to deal with, but it didn't really affect me. Its just life, you have to keep pushing for better and not feel sorry for yourself, this is what I told the adult in my group, a male nurse, who said that what I shared had taken him back. He said "I was hard as nails" and I said thanks. I didn't know what to say, i've been through some pretty rough times and I just see them as the past and keep them there. I will always remember what he said, because i truly believe it. A few good things came out of the day, I was like a social butterfly. That person that you saw me go out for a smoke with and I had never talked before challenge day, and now were hanging out, and who knows, maybe challenge day will have created the roots for a relationship (woot woot). Just gotta keep on keepin' on, lifes a garden, dig it, as Joe Dirt would say.


** i hope i didn't overstep the confidentiality of Challenge day by repeating that story, but i know you wont repeat it.